Monday, August 21, 2006

Welcome to the blog of The Kingdom of Danelaw

This has been created to further the restoration of Danelaw and to help to ensure its place as a nation in its own right, as a member of both the EU and the UN.

Danelaw was such a proud nation between the 8th and 12th centuries, until it was colonised by the fascist English descendants of the Anglo-Saxons who invaded the soft south.

Geographically, Danelaw consisted of all of what is now called England which is situated north of a line running from London in the south east to the Wirral peninsula in the north west. Our main towns were those now known as Leicester, Lincoln, Nottingham, Derby and Stamford.

We are descendants of Scandinavian Vikings and so genetically different from the English.

Our language is a mixture of Danish and Old English. ‘Danelaw’ is, in fact, Danelagen in the former and Dena Lagu in the latter. These days we call our tongue Danglish.

We have a Royal Academy of Danglish to protect our language and to invent both new words and grammatical rules every year. This keeps speakers of Danglish on their toes and provides useful employment for some of our intellectuals.

Although there are no Celtic words in Danglish, we regard ourselves as a Celtic nation because:- 1. Celts used to live in Danelaw hundreds of years before us, 2. We are close to the sea and it rains a lot, 3. Some of us can play bagpipes and sing mournful songs without ever smiling, and 4. we plan to hold a big Celtic Festival every year and invite other sad-looking people from Ireland, Brittany and one or two places which, like us, are not really Celtic but like to think they are.

Danelaw is a kingdom, ruled by Kolin the Magnificent, who can trace his lineage right back to King Guthrum, who ruled over Danelaw when it was established by conquest [not to mention pillage and rape] in the 9th century.

We intend to have our own National Flag and Anthem. If you have any ideas on these, we will be pleased to receive them. Please note, your Anthem need not be written in Danglish. Any non-Celtic language will do for now. Our intellectuals have the ability to translate from any of these.

Similarly, we are soliciting ideas for our National Dress. This must be as colourful and as silly as possible. Perhaps something similar to the costume of the English Morris Dancers. Only even sillier.

The government of Danelaw is currently being formed and ministerial positions are available by subscription. Please post a message to this blog with details of the position you are interested in and your experience. Or just the amount you are prepared to pay. Applications for citizenship will also be considered on the same basis.

The position of National Poet is not available as this is held in perpetuity by Kolin the Magnificent.